Relive each delicious moment of the TV adaptation of A Discovery of Witches with our weekly recap. This week? A Discovery of Witches Episode 5

Do you ever find yourself yelling at the screen in front of you or mumbling cheeky responses to the characters while watching a show? We do. Sometimes we keep those responses to ourselves and, sometimes, Ashley and I text them to each other as we watch the same show at the same time 700 miles apart. We enjoy these conversations so much that we decided to share them with you. Each week, Ashley and I will publish an episode recap for the first season of A Discovery of Witches. You can read it while you rewatch the episode (because you know you’re going to rewatch it) or just read it. There’s no right or wrong way to do this, just do it. We hope that these recaps will be worth a few giggles for A Discovery of Witches fans and that they might even make you think twice about what you’ve just watched.

[1:00] Ahh…a relaxing bath at the Sept Tours spa after conjuring witch water. Scratch that. Who can relax with two vampires lurking in the corner? Worst spa ever.

[2:00] I don’t care what is happening in the lab now or what happened there yesterday or why the lab appears to be located in a stately old mansion. I want to climb in Miriam’s wardrobe and never come out. She’s part runway model and part ninja and I couldn’t love her more.

[3:00] I’m not sure whose scent Matthew just picked up but I do know that whatever comes next for them won’t be pleasant.

[4:00] A day of hunting with Ysabeau. How charming! It’s so nice that she’s including Diana in family activities. Perhaps they will have a picnic in the woods afterward.

[5:00] It was kind of Ysabeau to warn Diana about the dangers of Diana’s scent getting mixed with that of the animals. Maybe it was a genuine piece of advice. Maybe it was a preemptive mea culpa. What could possibly go wrong?

[6:00] And speaking of hunting, I suspect that Matthew hasn’t tracked Gillian down to ask about her favorite brand of biscuits.

[7:00] It turns out that snitches get more than stitches. Is Matthew not concerned about passersby happening upon his Gillian snack?

[8:00] That picnic in the woods has taken a macabre turn.

[9:00] I didn’t imagine there would be so much chewing involved with Ysabeau’s kill. Girl is licking her fingers like she just finished off a plate of barbecue ribs. Deborah Harkness talks about this scene and the fox in our podcast interview with her. Check it out here.

[10:00] Yes, Peter Knox, why would Gillian break into a vampire’s laboratory? We’d all love to know if you have a theory. Speaking of theories, I think Satu is forming a few.

[11:00] This conversation between Diana and her interracial, lesbian aunts cuts to the heart of why I love this show and why I love Deborah Harkness. It is about finding life outside the bubble that you’ve created for yourself and your family.

[12:00] And as always, it’s Emily the peacemaker who cracks the door open for a possible welcome to Matthew. “What does Matthew have to say about all this?”

[13:00] Then we pivot immediately to a conversation between Matthew and his most trusted confident, a gay daemon in a relationship with a human. Hamish is the brutally honest and loving friend that we all need in our lives.

[14:00] And now we visit Matthew’s childhood, life as a human, and the church that he built.

[15:00] With the last three minutes of emotion followed by this story of Blanca and Lucas I am one lit candle away from my own version of witch water.

[16:00] My grandmother’s mother-in-law told her that she hoped she died in childbirth. Ysabeau’s crushing of all Diana’s hopes and the stoking of her fears puts her in the same naughty box as evil great-granny.

[17:00] Diana hangs with Ysabeau like a champ. Working with tenured faculty and undergraduates must be excellent preparation for navigating vampire family dynamics.

[18:00] Satu’s expression looks like mine at every family gathering trying to figure out which bit of crazy to focus on next.

[19:00] Baldwin volunteers as tribute and will retrieve the witch!

[20:00] To be fair, it’s only a witch head that Gerbert has kept in his thrall for centuries.

[21:00] Nat is looking like he would have rather gone to fetch pickles and ice cream for his pregnant wife than to confess her family secret to Nana Daemon.

[22:00] My daughter just called Diana “Snoopy McSnooperson,” which made me laugh hysterically. Also, I want a secret drawer in my desk where I will hide all the best candy.

[23:00] Major props to the prop department. It is amazing to see these stamps, seals, and so many other things that we read about come to life on screen.

[24:00] “Hello Diana, I was just sniffing a strand of your hair and it reminded me to call and check on you.” Suddenly, I’m having flashbacks to my brief experience with online dating.

[25:00] With 1,500 years of small talk under his belt, I feel like Matthew should be better at holding a phone conversation.

[26:00] Who knew that genetic testing set to stirring music could be sexy?

[27:00] Ashley mentioned this in her Episode 3 Recap but I need to reaffirm it here. I love that Diana’s sleepwear collection so closely resembles my own.

[28:00] There are very few instances when we realize in real time that life will never again be the same. It is fascinating to see this moment shared by Matthew and Diana.

[29:00] Ysabeau is every mother who has tried, but failed, to steer her child in a different direction. You can only fight their knuckle-headed decisions for so long before you toss out your own dreams for them and help them chase their own.

[30:00] “The women of the de Clermont family defend themselves and you will be no different.” This is one of our favorite lines from the book and I squealed a little bit when Ysabeau delivered it.

[31:00] Gerbert might want to invest in a high-quality cleaning kit. I think the needle is stuck on his witch in a box.

[32:00] Lighting a fire and pouring wine might not help Matthew and Diana but I’m pretty sure it would solve most of my problems.

[33:00] Could someone, just once in my life, demand that I act more like a witch and less like a human?

[34:00] I recently received my Ancestry DNA results. I learned that my ancestors were from England, Scotland, and Ireland but there was nothing about elemental powers. Should I request a refund?

[35:00] Bundling: that’s where the cable company assures me that if I have phone, cable, and internet…oh..well…um…I think that’s not the bundling Matthew has in mind.

[36:00] Matthew’s scars are an endless fascination for me. Diana is clearly moved by them as well. I wrote about how scars can help us mark time in this blogpost.

[37:00] “With you, my life has a beginning, a middle, and an end. When you’re gone my life will be over.” I have absolutely no original thoughts here. I can’t find better words than the ones Deborah Harkness wrote.

[38:00] I’ll have what she’s having. This When Harry Met Sally reference is brought to you by the 13-year-old boy who lives inside my head. But seriously, I’ll have two orders of French bundling please.

[39:00] Domenico and Juliette would make a stunning couple. I mean their relationship would be dysfunctional as hell but they would be so pretty to look at.

[40:00] When I was a kid my mother would tell me to run a lap around the house to get rid of my energy. This takes on new meaning when the house is Sept-Tours. Diana should be able to get in a 5K before breakfast.

[41:00] No! Just no! I’ve read the books. I knew this was coming but that doesn’t make it any easier to think about Matthew and Diana’s moment of bliss being violently interrupted.

Final thoughts:
There were some emotional scenes tucked neatly into the middle of this episode and that’s where my mind returns in this moment of reflection. In seven minutes of screen time we see the foundations on which Diana and Matthew’s lives have been built and upon which they will build their new life together. There are strong women who will fight with them on matters of principle and self-preservation. And these same women will battle alongside them when the congregation comes knocking. Hamish’s wise words sometimes cut Matthew to the core but they are always spoken with love, respect, and Matthew’s best interest in mind. Then there’s the stranger, Sophie. She’s never met Diana but the two are bound in ways that we don’t yet understand. Faced with the news of Diana “breaking rules” Sophie stands firm and insists that she must help Diana. Family, friends, and strangers who reach out to help when the walls start closing in; this is how Diana and Matthew will survive the ordeal that they now face. We should all be so lucky to have this cast of characters in our own lives.

What did you think of Episode 5? Do you have a favorite scene from this episode?

If you’ve missed any of our A Discovery of Witches recaps, do not fret! You can find all of our Season 1 recaps here.