A Discovery of Witches Season 2 Episode 9 Recap

Relive each delicious moment of A Discovery of Witches with our weekly recap. This week? A Discovery of Witches Season 2 Episode 9 recap.

Do you ever find yourself yelling at the screen in front of you or mumbling cheeky responses to the characters while watching a show? We do. Sometimes we keep those responses to ourselves and, sometimes, we text them to each other as we watch the same show at the same time 700 miles apart. We enjoy these conversations so much that we decided to share them with you. Each week, Ashley and Nikki will publish an episode recap for the long-awaited second season of A Discovery of Witches. You can read it while you re-watch the episode (because you know you’re going to re-watch it) or just read it. There’s no right or wrong way to do this, just do it. We hope that these recaps will be worth a few giggles for A Discovery of Witches fans and that they might even make you think twice about what you’ve just watched. Without further ado, here’s our A Discovery of Witches Season 2 Episode 9 recap….

[1:00] Question. Did the Book of Life come with this handy carrying case or was it an after-market purchase?

[2:00] “…we don’t belong in this time. Perhaps we’ve already been here too long.” As a citizen of both 2020 and it’s rat-faced bastard cousin 2021, I feel this deeply.

[3:00] “The dark clouds that circled you have lifted somewhat.” Jeez…can everyone smell the sex on these two? 

[4:00] Did Goody just perform an Elizabethan ultrasound?

[5:00] This, this, is unchartered territory? You’ve been in unchartered territory since you landed 500 years in the past. This is just another waypoint on a fantastic journey.

[6:00] There’s that look again. Matthew looks at Diana like she will be the death of him.

[7:00] “I’m not dead yet” is the mantra that we chant as we gather up dirty masks for laundry day and refill the hand sanitizer bottles that are stashed in every bag and coat pocket.

[8:00] Diana says that she can see the threads of the universe but it kinda looks like dust to me. Are we absolutely sure that someone hasn’t just been lax on their housekeeping?

[9:00] Jokes aside, I am fascinated at the way the production team brought Diana’s knots to life. As I said in a previous recap, it’s knot (see what I did there?) the way that book readers imagined them and, yet, they are wonderful.

[10:00] And Cora has arrived! Again, nothing like what we imagined but magical all the same!

[11:00] “Your familiar will return when she is needed.” Is this a promise or a threat because Diana looks like me after a meal at Taco Bell.

[12:00] “Falsehoods and lies ooze from your mouth like drool from a dog.” She might have a toothache but ‘ol girl’s tongue still works just fine.

[13:00] Wondering whether I should include “One more word and your severed head will adorn the palace gates” in the section of my parenting book devoted to sassy teenagers. Too much?

[14:00] “I want every book inside this building” is me standing outside my local bookstore.

Also, how is it that I am more suspicious of Kit’s motive’s than Diana is? Girl, you can sense when a creature is near but not that this numbskull is up to no good?

[15:00] Ruffs, I know they are historical. I know that the costume department went to great pains to create them. Can we agree, though, that they look a lot like air filters? Speaking of, I should get my oil changed.

[16:00] Question from the Intern, how did the book gather that much dust since Diana placed it there this morning?

[17:00] Gallowglass, always protecting, always defending until called off. He’s like the vampire equivalent of a German Shepherd.

[18:00] And suddenly, I’m having flashbacks to when my daughter was teething. To be clear, I am remembering rubbing teething ointment on her gums, not blood.

[19:00] “What will happen when I’m gone.” Matthew, I think this was a rhetorical question but carry on.

[20:00] I am completely captivated by the change in Matthew Goode’s countenance. He is soft and tender here in a way that we have not seen him before. Sigh…

[21:00] I’m intrigued by the decision to have Matthew tell Elizabeth about her future when he refused to tell Philippe or Kit about theirs. Is it because he knew it would bring peace to Elizabeth but would have only tortured Philippe and Kit?

[22:00] Matthew is carrying his ruff through the door like I carry my bra at the end of the day. Will he also leave it on the stairs because he’s too lazy to take it all the way up to the bedroom?

[23:00] Jack was nimble and Jack was quick. Book readers will appreciate this nod to the original text and, possibly, a nursery rhyme. 

[24:00] Our relationships with our in-laws can be fraught but let’s all celebrate the fact that our sisters-in-law have never attempted to dispose of us to maintain order in the family. We can all celebrate that right? If not, please message me because I want to hear every sordid detail.

[25:00] Wondering how many times whispering “where are you” has actually aided in the location of a missing person or personal item.

[26:00] Did Philippe install a barcode on Diana’s forehead? Does it provide additional information (mailing address, favorite snacks, preferred bedtimes, etc.) or just that Diana is his blood sworn daughter?

[27:00] Does Louisa really think that the best way for Kit to win back Matthew is to kill his wife? Never mind, of course she does.

[28:00] Kit, so broken, so beautiful, and so desperate for love. Kudos to Tom Hughes for playing this part brilliantly.

[29:00] I hope that Diana has a good chiropractor. Every time a tree or a firedrake grows out of her it must put her spinal alignment severely out of whack.

[30:00] It’s incredibly difficult to capture this single minute because so much happened. Diana offering to tell Kit and Louisa their futures but then telling them that they have none? Worst tarot card reading ever. Gallowglass’ “what the hell is that.” Father Hubbard’s, “their continued existence is punishment enough.” Matthew’s, “Fucking warned you Kit.” It’s so much delicious drama!

[31:00] That “fuck my life” look on Cecil’s face when Queen Elizabeth tells him that Matthew is forgiven. Muahahahahahahha!

[32:00] “You don’t want to go to Bedlam auntie” is the most blatant warning that Gallowglass has given Diana thus far. All the others have sounded like riddles and, still, Diana disregards him and trusts her own instincts where Matthew is concerned. Atta girl!

[33:00] As often and as brutally as I fought with my sibling in our childhoods, “tear out my throat” was never part of the dialogue. In retrospect, it makes our fights seem relatively tame.

[34:00] I have questions. If vampires heal quickly, why is Louisa so battered? If Matthew is trying to brutalize her wouldn’t it be like contusion Whack-a-Mole? He hits her one place and it heals before he can make a mark somewhere else?

[35:00] Again, Gallowglass warns Diana to be careful and, again, she just walks toward Matthew, like he’s not hopped up on blood rage.

[36:00] Perhaps a final look at the child that grew in their hearts while daring to dream of the child currently growing under Diana’s. As the mother of a child who shares none of my DNA, I can tell you that bloodlines ain’t got nothing on love. That is all.

[37:00] My compliments to Teresa Palmer’s breasts. They place Matthew’s dialogue about wanting to possess her in a very understandable light.

[38:00] Heart vein, no secrets, witch’s kiss…I’ve got it. It’s all very romantic and intimate which is why I’m struggling a little bit with the fact that Matthew hasn’t cleaned up since his return from Bedlam. Maybe you could wash your sister’s blood off before you drink mine?

[39:00] When entering into a bedroom game that requires explicit consent and a declaration of trust, maybe the couple should also choose a safe word? On a related note, I just learned that Oklahoma is the 11th most used safe word in the U.S. and I don’t even know how to feel about that.

[40:00] Speaking of not knowing how to feel…what did I just watch?

[41:00] Judging by the jerking of the bodies and the eyes rolling back into heads and then factoring in the crescendo of music, I believe that these two just shared a mutual orgasm. Was that a #headgasm?

[42:00] I have heard that the truth will set you free but I had no idea that this is what it would look or feel like. I am making a note to be much more truthful in the days to come (sorry, I couldn’t resist).

Final Thoughts:

The first draft of my final thoughts focused on Matthew and the tenderness that he displayed in this episode; his weary looks at Diana after realizing that they had conceived a child, his tenderness with Elizabeth I, that enormous hug (born of fear and relief) when Jack confessed his thievery, and the intimacy with Diana at the end of the episode. Before I could linger on those happy thoughts, I was reminded of the moments of brutality when Matthew went after Kit with sword drawn and threatened to kill Louisa while in the throes of blood range.

Neither the tenderness nor the rage fully represent Matthew. And that is what I will take away from this episode. None of us are one thing or another. Rather, we are the sum of all our parts; the light and dark, the anger and tenderness, the joy and sorrow. How we harness each of of these parts is what defines us. Once Elizabeth knows the truth about Matthew she whispers, “You are a future Matthew.” This helps her understand the rounding of the edges, the softening of the resolve, and the willingness to die but no longer just for her. And that, my friends, is what love and impending parenthood will do for us. Oh, we’re still fight-y all right but we learn to focus our energies on the fights that mean the most to our families. I like this “future” Matthew and I am eager to see him return to modern times and continue his evolution.

If you’ve missed any of our A Discovery of Witches recaps, do not fret! You can find them all here.